May 18, 2007

For the last two years we have fought tooth and nail to just survive Bill's injuries sustained while serving in Iraq. It goes from bad to worse and each day I am realizing how badly the wounded soldiers are treated. Something needs to change. Everyone needs to be aware of how soldiers are treated and what they have to give up, what does actually happen to them once they are no longer "fit for duty". It is a sad situation, there are thousands that are in the same situation we are and have nowhere to turn. I have tried to be patient, bite my tongue and keep silent. "The proper military wife". Still.
Now, I am just frustrated and fed up with it all. Now I am speaking out.

On April 14th of 2004 my husband was shot in the spine while serving in Iraq with the Army. Immediately we were concerned with his health, making sure he was recovering as well as he could and dealing with the subsequent surgeries that he had to go through. My husband served ten days shy of fifteen years in the Army and after we were sure he would be ok, our next concern shifted to his career. What would happen to our family? We were assured by everyone that with the severity of his injury, the level of disability and the fact that he would never be the same again or anywhere close to it, he would be taken care of by the Army. After all the Army takes care of its own, right?
The last two years have been a nightmare. After a very long recovery, we were finally told that his injuries would not allow him to stay in the Army to finish the last five years of his career. Nor would he be allowed to take the E-7 position that he had just gotten picked up for. To put it bluntly, his career was over. With severe spinal injuries, ribs damaged, an Intrathecal pump surgically implanted in his body and a level of pain that would drive most mad, the Army was done with him. They discharged him with severance pay. We kept thinking that at least we had the severance pay as compensation for the loss of career. Then we went to VA for his Veterans benefits. He was rated at over 100% disabled. We thought that we would be ok, that we would be able to support our three children on the benefits we were to get from VA, until we got the letter that informed us that they would be taking his severance pay back from him through his VA benefits. We were informed that since the Gun Shot Wound was the first thing listed on his paperwork, that it was the law that they take his severance pay back, had it been listed second, or later in the form, we would have been ok. We were told that for the next year and a half we would be living on about $500 a month. With three children. Still we kept faith, we thought that we would be ok, we had been smart with the severance and although very tight, we would be able to survive. We were forced to apply for food stamps, and get medical for the children through the state, although they will not cover me stating we make too much money per month. At first that didn’t concern us, since after all, he was totally disabled and covered through Champ VA for me. Again, we were wrong.
I have been informed that we are not eligible for Champ VA for me and the children since the paperwork does not state “permanent” on it. His condition will never get better, he will never be out of pain. All the doctors have told us that he will keep declining over time, however, it is not permanent on the papers, so once again, we lose.
In August of 2004 I had to undergo a Hysterectomy due to Endometriosis and extremely large cysts that grow off of the ovaries. The doctor, against our wishes, decided to leave an ovary to help with the changes. Once again, I am now living in extreme pain, having attacks that leave me curled in a ball on the couch crying with the pain. What needs to be done is that the ovary needs to come out, however, I have to live with this. Live in this pain and with no help. Why? Because I no longer have ANY medical coverage whatsoever, our monthly income does not exactly allow for a surgery to be paid for out of our pocket and there doesn’t seem to be any more alternatives. We are waiting for a response on disability and I can only sit and pray that something will come out of that that will help our family.
I find it beyond disgusting that we are in this situation. My husband served honorably, he fought for his country without one word of complaint, we stood by his side through countless field times, deployments to four countries, living in Germany for three years, and missing countless holidays. Our youngest sons entire pregnancy and birth were taken from my husband by serving in Bosnia and we never complained, were simply happy that he was home a week after the birth. I served on our FRG for years, helping other families, assisting in unit functions, deployments and anything else I could do to help with the families of our soldiers. I have sent care packages, walked the floor with our children when they were crying for their Daddy and assured them he would be fine when they were terrified he wouldn’t come home. I went to the school to pick them up after speaking to my husband on the phone and being told he had been shot. I saw the fear in their eyes, assured them without knowing if it was the truth or not that their daddy would be fine and he would be home soon. No men knocked on my door to help me get information or inform me of what was going on, I found it myself. My support was my family and a few wives from our unit. I still kept the faith; I still believed that after serving faithfully, honorably and with every fiber in his being, the military would never abandon my husband. He never had a glitch on his record, served every day, never went on sick call, never played off from work and was the first Squad Leader in the door and the last out the door every day.
I find it beyond disgusting that we are in this situation at all after we have done our part, he put his life on the line willingly, he signed the dotted line, and I stood by him. The only thing we expected, ever, from the Army was that if anything did happen to him, we wouldn’t have to worry about how to take care of our family. We have learned a valuable lesson. We have learned that we expected too much. We learned that Most of the soldiers in the military are under the same assumption and they are all wrong.
It amazes me that our government is enabling and allowing this to happen to our soldiers and their families and turns a blind eye to it. A soldier takes his vow, puts his life on the line and if he should be lucky enough to survive his injuries, is then slapped in the face. We will send millions of dollars to countries that many of us have never even heard of, but we will let our soldiers, families, and other citizens live without medical coverage, in poverty and without hope of change?