Eat My Ass K-Mart

I told a woman at K-Mart today to Eat my Ass. That is exactly the kind of mood I am in today. It is one of those days that make me remember why I picked my user name the way I did.. or domain, whatever. I am pissed, hot, sweaty, hormonal and I cannot stand the sight of anyone that breaths at this point. Bill is smart enough to leave me alone. Dustin, not so much. He keeps asking me if I am ok, and that is a recipe for disaster. I even explained to him that I am just in one of those moods and to just leave me be. I know why he keeps asking, he knows that part of my mood is because he let my cat out. She is pregnant, due at like, any second and he forgets to close the screen door for the nine hundredth time. Although of course no one else in this house knows how to close the fucking door either so if it wasn’t for the fact that he was the only one here, he would be in the clear and could just stand whistling while we looked for the cat. She has been missing all day, it is now after midnight and there is still no sign of her and with every passing moment, I get sicker and sicker. One of the girls up the holler lost her cat to an animal attack the other night and it just keeps running through my head, what if she gets attacked, what if she gets hurt, what if she has the babies outside, she must be hungry… where the hell is she. I swear I don’t know how I will cope if she is gone for good. Right now I just want to bawl my damned head off. This cat is like my surrogate child. She sleeps with me every night, follows me to the bathroom and waits outside the kitchen door while I am cooking. She bitches at me until I sit down so she can lay on me and I wake up at 3am with her wrapped around my head. Sure, she drives me nuts sometimes, like when I am trying to get to the poddy and I am dodging her while she weaves in and out of my feet. But I want my kitty!!!!

K-Mart. I guess I should explain that one. I rarely go to K-Mart here. The store is a clusterfuck, the cashiers are all mad at the world and treat the customers like crap, there is only one line open.. ever. It does not matter how busy they are, there can be twelve people in line and there are twenty workers milling around doing their best to look busy, but only one line is running. I wait my turn and when I finally get to the front, she rings up my purchases and she gets to the ‘purchase that rocked the world’. I had picked out a set of pots and pans. There is a big sale sticker attached to the side of the damned pans that says ‘save ten dollars at the register, sale price will scan at the register’ and the price on the shelf that they were on was 69.99 and the sign/sticker said the name and it even had a collection name and that was on there. Of course they rang up wrong. They rang up at 99.99 and no sale price. Now, I was still being nice here and said I would take her back to the spot I got them from, it is literally ten feet from the register, and could show her the price. She calls for a price check, stands there picking at her fingernails while the line behind me is steadily growing and I am popping out is a sweat. She waits literally four or five minutes while I am shifting from foot to foot and glancing at the linen behind me and then walks the fifteen feet to the customer service desk to get them to make someone come do a price check. Eh? I again told her that the pans where like ten feet away and it would be quicker if she just looked herself. She ignored me! Oh hell no! After a few more minutes here comes Skippy the Wonder Price-checker and I lead him by the nose to the pans. I point and said, see…. 69, not 99. He informs me that they are in the wrongs spot and starts to check the others… which are all also in the wrong spots. Not one price tag on that shelf said 99. I go to the check out isle and she tells me that the sale sticker for the ten dollars off is expired. Now, these dingledorks are the ones who strapped it on there, wouldn’t they rip it off if it was no longer valid? She asked me if I wanted the pans and I told her no, that I would get them somewhere else since they didn’t have them priced correctly and I wasn’t going to get them on principal now. *this was said with my arms crossed but not rude, since she is just a worker and I don’t tend to shoot the messenger* Then the idiot made the mistake of saying “you know you could have figured out you didn’t want them before you brought them up here”. Excuse me? Do you want your eyeballs ripped from your head and fed to my dog? So, I did what I had to. I told her to Eat my ass, if they would do their job and price shit right, I wouldn’t have brought them up there… but not to worry because I wouldn’t be back and would buy my shit at Wally World and hoped they ran out of business and she would wind up sitting at home eating bon bons and gaining nine bazillion pounds and then she would be sorry!

Seriously, I didn’t say the bon bons thing, but I did tell her to ‘eat my ass and if she would do her job and I wouldn’t have brought them up there’ before I stormed out of there and told the receipt checker lady that the cashier lady is a bitch. I need a shirt that says “Hormonal day, proceed with caution, I can rip your head off and shit down your throat in two seconds flat and am not afraid to do it”
I want my cat!!!!!