April 20, 2006

My husband, my dear.. dear.. husband... has an issue with his wallet. The issue is; he can NEVER find it. He lays it down and swears that either someone has moved it or that it has apparently grown little legs and ran away, hiding from him to drive him to the brink of insanity, and of course to encite me to go into the "lecture and yell" mode. Now, of course.. this morning he cannot find his wallet. I find out by the 20 questions that I am shooting at him that it has been MIA for two days. TWO. DAYS!!! And it hasn't crossed his mind to say something to me yet? He just didn't want to admit that he did it again. ;) I didn't fall off the turnip truck last night ya'll... I know his tricks as well as the kids. Anywho, he has searched every nook and cranny of this house, every drawer, every shelf, the car, the truck.. his Moms house, I'm talking EVERYWHERE. He left a bit ago to go over and help his Sis with the baby for a bit and I am walking around picking up his empty soda bottle, his candy wrapper, empty cig pack and what do I find? His wallet of course. Guess where it was? Sitting. On. The. Coffee. Table. Right. In. Front. Of. Him! I'm worried people, very worried. And he wants to know where our daughter got her forgetfullness from? Ummmmm Duh!

Conversation that I had with Goober... err... Bill last night:

Bill: What's for dinner tonight hun?

Me: I don't know.. I cooked last night, what are YOU cooking for dinner tonight dear? (we have lived here for two months now and he has YET to cook, so I'm trying here people, just once a week maybe lol)

Bill: Come on sweety, you cook tonight and I promise, I promise that I will cook tomorrow.

Me: *Sigh* Fine Bill, I'll cook..... sheeesh (mumble something about cooking, cleaning, waxing floors, kids, lunches, laundry, yardwork and can't even get a night off from dinner lol)

After Dinner

Bill: That was great hun, see you know you cook good, you should do all the cooking

Me: OH HELL NO! You will cook tomorrow night, you promised!

Bill: I just remember something (looking at the floor then back up at me with that sheepish grin)

Me: What??!!!

Bill: Laura has a soccer game at 5:00 so we have to eat on the way home

Me: You ass! You remembered that earlier! Well you know what... you can just cook early so that we can eat before we leave! Ha!

Bill: (sits looking at me blinking)

I called the school a little while ago and the game was cancelled due to the upcoming storms this evening and guess what... I put on a roast earlier with the intention that he would do the side dishes.. guess what I just got done doing? Peeling and cutting the potatos, cleaning and cutting up the carrots and onions and wrapping the corn for roasting. How did he get out of it yet again? He RAN to his Mom's to play with the baby.

I wont be responsible for what I do people... I swear I'll plead insanity!

He will cook tomorrow, he will cook tomorrow, he WILL cook tomorrow.

I hope :) LOL