I'll make you Pee like a girl!

There was a time when you were so small my little Angel. Those tiny little hands and those little blue eyes, you were so dependent on me for everything. And then time sped by and you grew so fast. Your little hand started to grow right in mine and I could feel you slipping away from me. I taught you how to eat on your own and then you learned to give up your bottle. Soon, poddy training started and you shed the remnants of babyhood behind you. The hours marched on, the days bled one into another, and the years were gone before I knew it. It seems like only yesterday you were dependant on me for everything and now, you are on your own. You are too big for your Mommy to hold your hand, you are too big to give me a kiss in public, too big for me to hug you in front of your friends. Your game system and friends are your world. You can make your own sandwich and find your own snacks. You say that you are a big boy and that you don’t need my help anymore. My son, my love… I would just like to remind you of one thing… pee INSIDE the toilet or I will make you sit like a girl to pee!
Love,
Mom


One of Laura’s little friends called last night for the ten thousandth time. He caught me while I was working on the bastard laptop and not in the best of moods. Now this is the kid that called about half an hour earlier and I already told him that she was staying with her Aunt for the rest of the week so he knew she wasn’t home.
“Is Laura there?”
“Nope”
“Do you know when she will be home?”
“She won’t be”
“Huh?”
“She wouldn’t keep her room clean so I shipped her to an orphanage in Cambodia”
“Um, Oh, OK, Thanks”
Click
The intelligence factor is apparently missing.


Breaking News! Paris Hilton says that jail was a “Traumatic” experience. Wow, isn’t that the point of jail?


House Members Seek Pay Raise of $4,400
Because after all, a salary of $165,200 a year couldn’t possibly be enough to live on with today’s economy. *That was sarcasm, I know it’s hard to tell online*
The average salary of an Army soldier: $46,122 and that is for a middle rank… I chose not to use the pay for the actual average soldier on the ground just to give a higher average. And hey, if they are serving in Iraq they get an additional benefit of $225.00 a month.
Seem fair?

Tainted fish from China detained
No, they weren’t marked as terrorist fish and sent to Gitmo. But if you eat fish, play with toy trains, or brush your teeth, you may want to check it out. All those little Made in China labels look a little dangerous now… well, they may… they have to be detained for a bit to find out if they are or not.

Odd News from today… it’ll make you laugh
Cops hot dog it, chase Weinermobile
Seems the cops saw the Weinermobile and for some reason called in the plate. The plate came back as stolen so they stopped it. Come to find out it was a mistake but I keep getting the visual image of the cop chasing said vehicle, the lights flashing, sirens blaring. Finally the huge hot dog stops and the police officer announces over the loud speaker ‘step out of the hot dog!’. A guy dressed in a mustard costume gets out. The cop screams, ‘get down on the ground mustard boy!’. Bwahhahaaa!!

Outside (Ok, they are inside the tub kittens) Kittens pictures today... (I didn't post them all at the same time yesterday because I didn't want to get cussed out for making someone on dial up pull out their hair)




Upon hearing the news about the possibility of fish being tainted from China, the kittens curled together for comfort.



You almost can't see it, it's so dark, it just blends right in.



The last ones twin, I swear she had a set of twins and a set of triplets!



As soon as I get them out to take a picture they latch onto me for dear life. I didn't know that a kitten that small could CLING to a person.



This one is VERY vocal. She can scream her little lungs out!



Too sleepy to let me catch those pretty eyes. This one woke up, bleated once and promptly fell back to sleep. If I could tell it apart from the other two tiger striped I would call it 'Sleepy' but alas, I would be calling the wrong kitten... I just know it!