Forgetful Chores

Editted: We are watching Man VS Wild and for one, does this man have any brains? I keep waiting to see him leap off of one of those cliffs and slip on all that loose rock and break his ankle. But, no, he keeps on trucking. But, I think one of those Reality Clip Show moments came when I heard this....
"I'll have to drink my own Pee."
Ummmm for one, I would whip out my cell phone and have someone pick me up. It is one thing to be out in the middle of nowhere, stranded and in danger of dying and have to drink your own Pee. It is quite another to go out there on purpose and have a way out and drink Pee. Gaross! And then not only do we have to watch him pee into a canteen, but he drinks it on camera. Why does my husband make me watch this show? Someone help me!!!!!

I was cleaning the two bathrooms simultaneously (what? It can be done, trust me) and started scooping the litter box. Seriously, I think that I am feeding her way too much. If that is what is going on in one day with one cat, God help me when the kittens start using the stupid thing! The kittens are getting so big. It is amazing how fast they grow. They are gaining strength in their legs and I want to pull them out to play so bad. Momma kitty gets so pissed when I cuddle with one. She sits and stares at me and meows her head off. Selfish ass cat. Speaking of Momma kitty. It is like the babies have sucked the soul right out of her. She doesn’t cuddle with me anymore, she doesn’t sleep with me at all, I was used to her wrapping her body around my head at night and if I sat down she was on my leg before I was sitting all the way down. Now I go to pet her and she acts like my fingertips have fire shooting out of them. She ducks and dives and wont let me touch her. I miss my old kitty, but I guess she is in Momma mode and doesn’t have time for me anymore. Wah!!

I have spent the whole day doing ‘forgetful chores’. What are ‘forgetful chores’ you ask? Well, dear reader, I shall tell you what ‘forgetful chores’ are. Those are the chores that you do after a surgeon removes your insides and throws you into menopause at the age of 31 instead of say… 40-45 like your supposed to. ‘Forgetful chores’ are when I go into the bathroom and put Sno Bol in the toilet, remember that the toilet bowl brush is outside from using it to clean the cat box, so I go out to get it, see a piece of trash on the ground, pick it up and take it to the container, see a weed in the flower bed and go over to pull it, seeing that the flowers need to be watered I grab the hose and water the flowers. Running the water reminds me that I need to do the dishes so I go in the house and fill the sink and stack the dishes. While I’m waiting for the water to fill I sweep the kitchen floor and start looking for the dustpan. Not able to find the dustpan in the kitchen, I start searching all over the house and find it sitting next to the trash can in the bathroom, which reminds me that I was going to get the toilet bowl brush, so I go get it and realize on the way past that I’ve left the water running in the sink. Shutting it off I grab the mop to clean up the water that has overflowed all over the floor. I let some water out of the sink and do the dishes up and realize it is time to start dinner so I go to the laundry room to dig in the deep freezer for meat. Seeing that the towels are dry I fold them and start another load. Putting the towels away I realize that I still haven’t gotten the toilet bowl brush so I start through the kitchen to go outside and realize I forgot the meat. Shit! That has to be done now in order for dinner to get on the table at a decent time so I run to the back and grab the meat, throwing it in to defrost I head over to get the side items going and start putting the dishes away. We sit down and eat and as I’m cleaning up the dishes I hear…

“Carol, the toilet has Sno Bol in it.”

“Just flush the fucking toilet!”

I’m exhausted and I still haven’t cleaned the stupid toilet. What’s worse, you can’t tell I have done a damned thing around here but I am run to death. Why does Primerin have to have breast cancer issues? I wasn’t this scatterbrained when I was taking it. Not to mention my body didn’t break out in a flush with it racing throughout my body to escape via steam holes in my ears. My hot flashes are hilarious. Well, for others to watch but not for me. It starts out with one small spot on my thigh. It is about as big around as a silver dollar and that one spot gets incredibly hot. Then it starts to get bigger and bigger, spreading out over my body. It spreads until my whole body is flushed and then it intensifies into my ears. The tips of my ears wind up flaming red and burning hot. My mother in law laughs her head off at my cartoon red ear tips. Men suck!

Mom’s house is close to done. They are finishing up the last two rooms with the sheetrock tomorrow. There are two rooms painted and another will be done tomorrow. So, it is speeding along now. I still haven’t remembered to take my camera over to take pictures. What? Haven’t I mentioned that I keep forgetting shit? Yeah, brainless.