Thursday, September 13, 2007

Screwdrivers.. Oh my!

Conversation held with my husband on the way home from Joe's track meet yesterday evening.

*Kids in the background*

Laura: "And Michelle told me that Charity told her that Robyn told Mel that John was writing notes to Maureen and that was totally not cool because Maureen is dating Todd and John is dating Ashley and just because Ashley used to date Charitys boyfriend before she started dating Todd, John thinks it is ok to write notes to whoever he wants too."

Dustin: " Yeah well hey Mom, you won't believe it, Sarge told me that I was going to be promoted since the old leaders aren't doing their jobs right and I have been really making sure that I do everything right... Isn't that cool Mom?"

Me: "Mhmmmm that's great son"

Joe: "My ankle really hurts, we started running and I fell over that kid that fell and hit his head, he was goofy, didn't he see everyone else running this way *flings hand in front of Dustins face* instead of going this way *flings hand in front of Laura's face* and I wanted to tell him that they teach us how to tell directions in like kindergarten but he was crying real hard and Hey Mom, did you see how his head bounced off the concrete, I mean it bounced. I was like, Dude and then fell over him."

Laura: "And then Todd and John got into a fight and it got really bad and then those giggle girls that all hang out together like a pack of wild dogs.. you know which ones mom? Yeah, those girls.. they had to all get in and like tell everyone else and then there was a fight with Maureen with one of those girls and they were like in each others faces and I thought they were going to fight and I like told Maureen she would get kicked out of school and like....."

Fade to the front seat. Bill is staring at the road with eyes the size of pop bottles as a car drives directly towards me in my lane. I barely notice that my lane is the size of a bike lane and swerve to avoid them, take the curve and ask him what's wrong.

Bill: "My God, if I had to listen to this and deal with the idiots on this road very often I would stab myself in the head with a screwdriver!!"

Me: "Welcome to my world dear, grab a seat and hang on.. by the way, it will definately be a bumpy ride cause this road is shit."

Bill: "Seriously, how do you stand all this... do you hear her, she is still talking... does she stop to breath? Does she realize that noone is listening anymore?" (his voice is slightly crazed here)

Me: "What do you mean dear, I heard every word she said."

Bill: "No you didn't you were talking to me."

Me: I repeat what she said and make a comment to her about making sure she stays out of all the mess and look back to him with a smug look.

Bill: "You kind of scare me sometimes you know."



I am starting a new job next week. I will be working as a cashier for K-Mart during the day part time. I figure it will get me out of the house a bit, Not to mention I am sure it will give me more crap to blog about. Think of the possibilities... working with mean people, customers yelling, the fact that I am sure I will be like, dead after the first four hours since our K-Mart has about two cashiers at any given time. Oh, the possibilities people, feel the excitement!!! I'm just thinking about the extra money for shopping and nails, and oh, yeah... the savings account.

3 comments:

AndreAnna said...

Men just cannot multi-task, mentally or otherwise. Mothers are crazy creatures.

Christine said...

Last weekend, my husband took the boys and 2 of their friends on an overnight camping trip.

"Christ, Christine, they did not shut up the whole time! They talked until they fell asleep! And they hardly helped at all! You wouldn't have believed it!"

I was quick to tell him that I absolutely would have believed it, because that is my life EVERY DAMN DAY.

Anonymous said...

Oh! I can't wait for the K-Mart stories. It's going to be AWESOME!