Bust a Move

Warning~ This will probably be like, the longest.. Like… entry in history. I slacked off this week on updating because the Karmic God of bizeeness (it’s a new word, really, look it up.. Ok, I made it up) was kicking my ass! I have been so busy that I woke up this morning and did not have a clue that it was Friday and certainly did not have any idea that it was the 6th… err, the 7th now, since it is after 1am. I swear I thought it was around the first of the month. I know.. I should have remembered watching those big ole sparklers going off in the sky about two or three days ago, but it just didn’t click. Lets see if I can catch you up on the week without making you fall asleep.

Monday I already told you about. The blue mat of death remember? Yeah, that was soooo much fun!

Tuesday was just a blast. I was in the middle of putting yet another coat of paint on the hall doors and was burning up. I mean, it was so hot in this house that the sweat was beading on my forehead! I was hotter than a Whore in church on judgment day. I was hotter than a two puckered puppy in a fucking contest. Ok, that saying never did make much sense to me… Where do you find a two puckered puppy and why does the spell check keep doing that. Pecker damnit…. Not pucker you stupid Toshiba asshole… I know what I am trying to type, stop it! Peckered There! Take that you Toshiba mutt! Anyway… it was hot. I checked the thermostat and it was like 84 degrees in this house. I had the air conditioner set on 70.
“Shit! Bill! The Air isn’t working again!”
“Well, is it the filter again?”
“No, I just changed the filter, it can’t be that.”
“Check to see if it is froze up!”
“I am!” I scream as I am gathering up my ‘take the air conditioner apart tools’ I go outside and take the cover off and sure enough there is ice covering the coil. As I muttered cuss words that even a sailor would have wondered what I was talking about.. I cleaned the coil and got all the ice off. I came back inside and turned it on. While I continued painting I kept an eye on the thermostat. Ok, I did more than keep an eye on it. I would roll one line on and stomp over to see if the numbers were changing. When I saw that after an hour it had actually gotten hotter by two degrees, I picked up the phone book. I called the guy we had install the thing and of course got an answering machine. I am NOT dealing with no air conditioning, so I started calling around. The first asshole that answered the phone got my business. I am surprised at all the businesses that have an answering machine take care of their calls. I am so not leaving a message on the machine. If you want me to give you my money, at least answer your business phone. I get this guy out here and he says that he will check it out for a service fee of $60. Of course. He checks the freon, checks the pressure and nothing was wrong. He waited a few minutes and kicked it back on (he had me turn it off when he first got here) He checked the pressures again and nothing was wrong, nada. He looked at all the vent work and told me that the intake vent that pulls the air outside of the house is too small. It is supposed to be double the size that we have.

So, off to Lowe’s I go. I got OSB, Aluminum tape, a vent cover, and a large bottle of vodka. Ok, I skipped the vodka, but you get the drift. I come home and with Bill bossing, Dad and I cut a hole out in my wall, built a box for the return, moved it from one hole to the other and installed the vent cover. Now, that sounds like it was easy, but trust me, it so wasn’t. Well, it was easy, It was just messy as hell and cost another $70 in supplies. So, $120 to fix the Air. But, it is working awesome now, not to mention since we moved the vent to where it is in the wall, I don’t have to change the filter every other day. That moron that put it in put it on the floor right in front of the kitchen door so it got FILTHY from foot traffic. Did I mention that he is a moron? Ok, just making sure. Now I just have to find hard wood flooring to match mine to patch the damned hole in the floor. It never ends people, never ends. Rent while you can!

We worked on that until almost 11 pm so that was Tuesday, gone in a flash.

Wednesday we went to my sisters house for a cook out and then to the fireworks show. That was a blast. At the cookout we made hot dogs and hamburger, ran out of water with the kids playing on the water blow up slide thing and hell, that got me out of having to do dishes. “Oh, Beck, the water ran out, I was just fixin to do up all these here dishes, but… oops, no water. So sorry!”

We went to town to see the fireworks show. The city’s show is great, you can tell they spent some money on it. The parking lots fill up fast so we went a bit early and sat talking to Beck and her husband. My kids were hilarious. Laura was checking out the boys so fast that she got a serious case of whiplash and had to be put in a neck brace, Dustin fell asleep in the backseat and Joseph was dancing to the music from the live band and had us laughing so hard that I almost wet myself. I will put pictures at the end of this post, I of course documented the dance moves. I took a video but it is so dark that you can’t see anything but a dark shadow. I think I may have him do it again here at the house so I can get it on video. It was hilarious!! My son is the funniest kid on the planet. I swear to God, his teachers either Love him or hate him. Some think that he is cute, the teachers pet, class clown. Others hate him because he IS a class clown. Each year it is a crap shoot. Speaking of school… I can’t believe that school starts on August 7th down here! Almost two weeks earlier than where I am from and lets out later. Not that my heart is breaking with them in school or anything.. The silence… Ahhhhh! But, that means there will be sports and Rotc and sports and after school programs and sports. Blech, I will be driving all over. Oh well, they have fun and that’s what counts right?

Thursday… What the hell did I do yesterday. Hmmmm It’s not coming to me right now. *tap, tap, tap* still nothing. Ok, shit, that was just yesterday. What the hell did I do? Ohhhhh paint. I painted the two main walls in the living room and half the ceiling. I had to put three coats on and could only do half the room because I had to move my Shrunk so that I could paint the rest of it. Which is what I did today. It takes me pretty much all day to move my Shrunk because I have to take all the crystal out, clean it, move the pieces and then clean all the glass and put it all back together. And of course I do this at a snails pace because I am an anal retentive asshole that can’t stand a fleck of lint being in there on the glass. It is dusty five minutes after I am done, but for that five minute time frame, I want it to look AWSOME. I love that Shrunk, I worked my ass off while we were stationed in Germany to buy that thing and all the stuff in it. I tell my kids that I am having it buried with me, in reality I will give it to Laura when she gets older. My boys will just marry some hoochie Bitch that will either paint it or sell it and wont dust it the way it is supposed to be done. My daughter knows better! Plus, she loves it. The boys will inherit the guns and fishing poles. What a legacy I am leaving huh?

So, tomorrow I am going to finish painting this living room. Blech, I am so tired of dealing with this bullshit that I could puke. This has to be done in stages.. Very long, drawn out stages. But, it is looking great so far.

I pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows the other day. I am looking forward to the release date so much! I LOVE the books and the only thing I hate is that they are ending. I really think that she could stretch these out into Harry’s 40’s! Is it wrong that I pre-order the copy, don’t move from the spot that I plant myself at for two days and only after I finish reading it, let my kids read it? If it is wrong, then I am guilty. And don’t care! LOL
I overheard my daughter on the phone the other day

“Oh, I know we will be going to see the Harry Potter movie.. That is the one movie I can say we will definitely go see cause my mom is a Harry Potter freak.” At least I blushed a tad.



The picture totally does not do the dance justice. I have to get him to do that on video!



"Bust a move!"