What do you mean the week hasn't started yet?

What a weekend! I am looking forward to the week to be over and it hasn’t even started yet! Friday night I stayed over at Mom’s until the wee hours of the morning unpacking and putting stuff away. Saturday we got her bed moved and set up, finished unpacking, and went to the Black Gold parade. Both of my lovely older children were marching so I had no way out. The parade wasn’t as bad this year as it was last year. Last year parking was horrid, we had to walk literally MILES to get there from where we parked and it was seriously so hot outside that the heat rose from the sidewalk in plumes of hells fury. This year the weather was much, much cooler. We took a different route to the parade area and scored on a parking spot. We (Bills parents, his sister, her daughter, Bill, Joe and I) parked on the side of the highway, played human Frogger to get across and sat on the guard rail. Much better, even with having to dodge the semi’s. Also… prime spot to gather the candy that they throw off of the floats, a smorgasbord of candy fun! The children are all still in a sugar induced coma.

I laughed my head off at my daughter though. I can’t help it.. She is my source of comic relief. We were on the way to drop her and Dustin off at the bus pick up point and she was so nervous that she couldn’t stop moving. As she twitched in the front seat, Dustin (who had participated in the parade last year (so of course wasn’t very nervous) pounced. “Hey Laura, just make sure you don’t forget to sing the cadence after we do the first pivot set.” She turned in her seat so fast you could hear her neck snapping and with bug eyes and a pitch to her voice so high that dogs in Canada rolled over and dropped dead she screams “Cadence… what cadence.. What are you talking about.. OH MYGOD WHAT CADENCE?” Dustin is laughing and I was trying so hard not to laugh that my eyes were watering. She did not show any signs of calming down before the bus got there and as the bus drove off I remember thinking that she would probably throw up all over her freshly cleaned uniform. We settled in at the parade and as they came marching towards us, I ran out in the street to get a series of pictures of them as they marched towards us. I stepped aside and took a few of them marching past and could not resist the urge to mess with my children.

“Dustin, stand up straight! Yell loud hun, sound off!” I scream at my son as he marches past me. He stared stonily ahead and acted like he never heard a thing. As Laura comes marching towards me I hear my sister in law yelling out “Don’t smile Laura!!” and see that Laura is biting her lip to keep from smiling. “LoLoooooooooo make Mommy proud hun! Don’t smile and stand up straight! I love you honey, MAKE GOOD CHOICES LAURA!” I yell as she passes me. I knew that she would plot my death later, but I just so couldn’t help myself. They both did very well and I was so proud! We let Joe and Brook grab some loot and then took off for the car. The police had blocked off the road for the parade and noticing the little policeman picking up the orange cones, we dove into the car. I slammed it into drive just as before a flood of traffic headed towards us. We couldn’t have timed it any better. We all came home and changed clothes, headed over to the house and helped to do some more finishing touches. We said our goodnights to Mom and Dad and came home to crash.

Today I got up and took the Laura and Joseph to the Black Gold to ride the rides. Dustin was so not interested. We got the $15 wrist bands that allowed them to ride all day long and they set to it. They rode every ride at least once and a couple of them four or five times each. I know they had fun, me.. Not so much. I rode one ride and figured out that I am just too damned old for that crap. I sat on that ride staring at the mechanics that held the little crate that me and Joe were sitting in to the long bar keeping us from hurtling off into space. I stared at the mechanics the whole ride watching to make sure that it was safe, that it wasn’t coming loose, that there wasn’t any rust. I stared at those mechanics and had visions of it breaking off and the car thing hurtling into the crowd with me clinging to my child, streaming through the air. I counted, trying to figure out how much longer we had on this death trap. I tried closing my eyes and wishing myself on the ground. I tried having fun, waving my hands with Joe and almost threw up. I trying to send a telepathic message to the machine operator “let us off of this thing or I will shove a screwdriver through your earlobe”. He either didn’t get the message or it was routed to the wrong damned person, cause shit.. That ride seemed to go on forever. When it finally stopped, I pole vaulted out of it and ran off the platform, dropped to my knees and kissed the ground. Well, ok, I didn’t… but Good Lord, I felt like it! After that, I stayed on the ground and watched the kids. They just shouldn’t sell those damned tickets to anyone over thirty.. Or at least, not to me.



Formation marching by. Dustin is somewhere in the middle, Laura is towards the end.



Ok, lemme see if I can explain this.. Dustin is in the second group marching and he is the fifth one back in this picture, right in front of the girl.


Dustin and Laura dressed up and ready to go. I crack up when I see Buddy at the bottom of the steps in mid lick.



Ok, everyone with me now!!! Who you gonna call?? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!



I laughed my head off at this one! He was the only one driving that thing.. he just walked beside it and steered it.



Ok, the sad thing here is.. when I first saw this coming I wondered which float broke down.. cause a lot of tow trucks down here look like that when there is no parade involved! Not to mention the guy in the passenger seat was holding a pig and petting it like a dog while wearing bib overalls with no shirt under it.



This was the best by far! Click on the picture to see an even larger view. Read the stuff written on the side.
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